Jun 282 min read

What do you want?

Do you recognize ever reading or hearing something that seems insightful and true, maybe even nodding in agreement, but then it gets pushed aside by other information and input that come your way? It becomes something that flies by but not something that lands.

But then there are also the words that when crossing our path resonate with something deep within us. Those that become more than just a clever expression because now they're suddenly about us and we can see ourselves in them. Maybe it's something totally new. Or it's something we have read or heard many times but which suddenly takes on a deeper meaning.

I had such an experience a short while back. I was in a conversation with a life coach and this time I was the one being coached. We talked about an area of my life that I've been working on for a while. "What do you want?" she asked. "If you were to describe how you wish things were, what would you say?" This in itself is not a strange question, especially not in a coaching session. But I was completely taken aback.

"I actually don't know." I said after a while. "It's like I can't even imagine anything beyond what is so in this moment." She looked at me. "That's okay. We can create an image for you. But in doing so, we might need to begin with what you don't want. When you think about this area of your life, can you give me some examples of how you don't want it to be?”

I had no difficulties whatsoever doing that. And based on the things I shared with her, we then looked at what their opposites were and little by little a new vision was born before my eyes.

A couple of times, I have come across an expression that says that sometimes the path to who we are goes via who we are not. And in this conversation I also experienced that what we want can sometimes become clearer for us when we first look at what it is we don't want. At some point in time these words have been uttered and become a wise expression but now they landed instead of just flying by.

And I was reminded of two things. The first is how easy it can be sometimes to get stuck in a mindset that says I am not who I want to be or I am not having the experience I desire. But also how these thoughts can be used as a compass to help me see in which direction I need to go instead in order to get closer to what's more in alignment with my dreams and goals.